Mother on Trial

Tonight I feel a bit defeated. I know we’re all entitled to those days…but maybe moms are entitled to just a few more than others? This isn’t a pity party, so don’t break out the champagne, but this is a reflection. A look back on where, in just 3 years, the innocence has gone…

Gabbi has had a rough week. I know that Bernard’s being gone has been tough for her, but in the last week something really changed in her. The sass, the manipulation, the attitude I see in her is honestly heartbreaking. Maybe part of this is just watching her grow up and watching her change from a baby to a child and one day-heaven help me- from a child to a teenager. I just feel like I’ve failed her. Instead of the silliness and giggles that I anticipated, I’ve been seeing arguing, hurtful words and flagrant disobedience.

Do I just expect too much from her?

Where have I failed her? How did my kind hearted little girl so quickly turn into this angry person? She throws tantrums all the time, she yells at me. She intentionally does things that are rude or inappropriate and she laughs when I try to explain how hurtful this behavior is to me. I’m looking back at the shows she’s watched the conversations she’s heard, the music she loves and the examples I’ve shown. In speaking to her like she isn’t a baby, did I lay the foundation for her to speak to me like she’s in charge?

How do I raise a modest, loving lady when so much in this world is telling her she needn’t be modest, humble, prudent, sympathetic or simple?

I know she is still my little girl that she is still good and kind and young and learning, but tonight I just feel like I have done something wrong.

Lord, I am so thankful for my daughter. For the laughter and the pure joy she brings into my life. I love her with my entire being. Please help me to be a better mother to her and to Brent. Show me how to teach them and where to lead them. Thank you for the friends and family you have blessed me with for support, and for the daily blessings and reminders that You are in control and always by my side…

Prayer for the graces of Motherhood

Powerful is your intercession with God, Mary, for you are His mother.
Tender, too, is your love for us, for you are our mother.
Confidently, then, I come to you as a child, poor and needy, to seek your aid and protection.
In every trial of motherhood, I beg your aid.
For the grace of a happy delivery, I come to you.
For your holy assistance in guarding and directing each tiny soul with which God entrust me, I call to you.
In every sorrow that comes to me in my motherhood, I confide in you.
That I may have strength to bear cheerfully all the pains and the hardships of motherhood, I lean on you.
That the sweetness of motherhood may not through my neglect be embittered in later years by pains of regret, I trust in you.
That the will of God may always be fulfilled in me through each act of my motherhood, little and great, I beg your aid.
Never forsake me, dear mother, my hope, my consolation, my confidence, and my trust,
But ever be at my side to aid and protect me, your needy child. Amen.

Mother of love, of Sorrow, and of Mercy, Pray for us!