Writing Therapy

Ever since I was a little girl there has been something therapeutic about writing. It started with stories, then poems, turned into songwriting and has since progressed into journal entries that sound more like letters and end with prayer. Sometimes I write about things I can’t talk about. Sometimes I write about feelings that I have from either an experience of my own or one that I’ve watched friends and family face. Year after year I have had to purge my drawers of journals, notebooks, binders, etc.  I started blogging about 3 years ago; it started as an outlet for me specifically while Bernard was deployed. For a short period of time, I blogged for a military wives newsletter, but the fit wasn’t right. My blog turned into a way for me to document things that I wanted to make sure to remember or that I wanted Bernard to see even when he was gone, or for Gabbi to read one day when she was older. Now it’s a catch all, and while it’s all mine, I still don’t feel like I can write as freely as the pages of my own journal. Nevertheless, I believe in writing and the free counseling it provides and in the case of this blog, the prayers that seem to follow from dear friends and close family.

It’s august again…really? Already? August marks the start of the CRAZY season in our home. School starts, Gabbi has a birthday, and then we celebrate our anniversary (5 years this time!), followed by Brenton’s birthday, Bernard’s birthday, Halloween (which in this house is a BIG deal), Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, my birthday, and then Valentine’s day. While all the celebrating is wonderful, sometimes it does make it all feel rushed.

Gab starts a new school this year and it’s hard for me to not be nervous. Coming from her BIG school last year this is quite the change. But we did feel led here and I have to have some faith. Maybe the smaller classes will give her even more attention (which apparently she is STARVING for) and I know my little girl is resilient. Still, it’s hard to think that the first 4 years of her “Educated” life will be at four separate schools…comes with the military life, huh?

Speaking of which, it’s time for us to decide whether or not Bernard is re-enlisting. Which he’s done before and probably doesn’t seem like the most major decision except for the fact that this reenlistment would be for 6 years. He’ll have already served 7. 7+6=13…which is over the halfway mark for “career” in military. So this one decision basically determines whether we kiss the military goodbye or embrace it for another 13 years. Needless to say, we’ve been doing some MAJOR praying over here and I think we’ve made a decision. 

Our anniversary. I really can’t even begin to express how important marriage is to me. I’ve come to appreciate the commitment, the sacrament and the covenant that it is even more in the last two years. I feel so blessed to have found this man that I know God made for me and I am honored to walk next to him in life as his wife. Despite my feelings, for one reason or another, we’ve never really been able to celebrate our anniversary. Between deployments, births, moving and just life we’ve been lucky to squeeze in 2 anniversary dinners over the last 5 years. NOT THIS YEAR my friends! This year my soldier of the quarter (did I tell you he won that?? He’s amazing) is taking me out OVERNIGHT for our anniversary. Complete with grandma babysitting/dogsitting/housesitting (she’s pretty stinking amazing too) a trip to St Pete, a night in a hotel and a romantic dinner JUST US! Am I dreaming?? Let the countdown begin!

And my little meatball is turning one…seriously?! I’ve been so focused on Gabbi’s Strawberry Shortcake ithoughtitwasagreatideatomakeeverythingmyself birthday party that it hadn’t even dawned on me how close we are to his big day. Wowzers. Is it selfish to just want to have that day to ourselves? I just want to watch him the whole day and see if I can’t see him growing…

Ok that was long enough and I feel better now :) Thanks for listening...I'm off to start my day and try my best to capture every little moment I can.