Giving it to God...

I've drafted a million blog posts in my head but have been rather lazy when it comes to sitting down at the computer to type it out. But here I am at last.

I’ve been thinking recently about my struggles with Gabbi. I love that girl with my whole heart, but I don’t know anyone else who can hit my nerves faster! I guess that's part of the mother/daughter dynamic huh? And the struggles I have with her are my own fault. They’re the characteristics that I gave here. My parents always said one day I’d get payback...please Lord don’t let her be me at 15....

But today's struggles are consistent. The power struggle to be exact. I say no, she pushes back. I say take a nap, she screams “Call me Maybe” from her bedroom for 3 hrs while dressed up like a lady bug fairy in high heels and aviator goggles. Why doesn’t she just listen? Just obey! I lay down the rules; why is it so hard to follow?

Readjustment of the lens for a moment: another power struggle. This one between the Lord and Israel. He gave them EVERYTHING they needed. He showed them the path. He provided their food. He gave them a leader, He showed them the way. Still it was too hard to follow. So he literally wrote down the rules, just as a kindly refresher. They still swayed....

I've been seeing recently that the more I try to take control of my own life, the harder things become. "Hey God, are you sure that’s what we should do? I think this plan looks pretty good..." (HA) Surely if I can just control this, or this, then everything will work out just fine. And then He takes something away. Or changes the plan. Or throws a little something in. Yet instead of surrendering to Him and saying, "Ohhhh, ok, I get it!" I say, "Well, let's try this..."

My daughter is me.

I am Israel.

I was never to be left alone to fend for myself in life. No parent would ever throw their child into the world without guidance. Direction. Encouragement. Discipline. Rules. Lessons. Children model the behavior they witness. Does Gabbi watch my power struggle with the Lord? What if she witnessed my obedience and faithfulness instead of my anxiousness and my fear? Would my struggle with Gabbi even feel as great if I gave up my struggle with the Lord’s plan and just surrendered to His will and timing?


Hmmm... let's try that one out.