Man in the Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall…this isn’t about a fairy tale princess, or a mean old witch. Just about my little princess and me (hoping that similarities are being drawn to the latter). When I first became a mommy, there were so many things that I intentionally wanted to teach my daughter. There were even things that I wanted to make sure she didn’t learn- prejudice, ignorance, intolerance. But as I’ve taken a few strides down the journey of motherhood, I’m amazed at the things she learned when I thought she wasn’t watching.

When Gabbi was two, she didn’t talk a ton. The words she did say had to be translated and we even talked about the possibility of putting her into a speech therapy program. To say she worked things out is an understatement- she does a great job now of communicating her needs, wants, and thoughts, although she can sing you the day’s events if you prefer. Anyway, when she was two, I was shocked to hear her yell, “Damnit!” after a book fell. I’m talking in context people, not just repetition. Tonight, when she was supposed to be in bed, Bernard heard her look out the window and say, “What the hell?” Needless to say these are NOT some of the things I’m proud that she’s picked up.

I firmly believe that if you want a good look at yourself, look at your children. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve realized the things that I apparently say a lot. Gabbi’s top five phrases she uses when she’s talking with her imaginary friends/sister/or baby: 1. “Listen to me!”/ “Look at me…” 2. “Say yes ma’am.” 3. “Just be a good listener, ok?” 4. “Really?!” and 5. “Stop being rude.”
Awesome. I also learned that when I’m frustrated I apparently lift my hands and go, “Augh!” Because Gabbi now does the same. On the flip side, she’s fabulous at describing her emotions! “Mom, that just makes me frustrated!” “Augh! I’m so mad!” And while the verbal learned lessons are obvious, it’s the less easily communicated ones that I’m happy she picked up on.

When we sit down to eat, she blesses herself and says, “AMEN!” If she hears that someone is sick (or if we pass a dead animal on the side of the road) she says, “I wanna pray for them.” When her brother is crying she’ll go over and “pet” him. She readily apologizes when she accidentally steps on/hits/shuts in the door Ali (our dog).

I have to watch how I explain certain situations, because she’s like a little sponge and her brain is a steel trap. I don’t think she forgets anything I tell her, except to be obedient. So when we started passing the homeless and pan handlers on the street corners, I had to have a good explanation to her question of, “What does he need, mommy?” I tried to explain that some people don’t go to work like daddy does every day to make money, and that some of these people were hungry and asking for food. “What about my animal crackers?” she asked from the back seat holding out her snack cup. “No baby, you already ate some of those. They need new food and I don’t have any.” Well, 3 more times of passing a person on the street corner and answering, “do we have any food, mommy?” made us decide to go to the grocery store. We bought some “new food” and Gabbi decorated their snack bags. Then she added one of her favorite juice boxes to each bag and a napkin (she tried to add cloth napkins at first! “I can’t get these in here!”)

We put the bags in my car and this Sunday on the way to church, Gabbi was on the lookout for someone to bless. She first suggested we give it to a teenager simply trying to cross the road! Then when we got off the interstate, there was a man with a sign asking for food. She was so excited! “We have food, mommy! Let’s give it to him!” and we did. As much as I try to teach her (and as much as she’s caught onto!) I am so honored to learn from her every day.

Thank you Lord for this sweet child, who wears her heart on her sleeve and who loves so deeply and so wide. Help me to learn to be more childlike and to love more like you.

And to watch my mouth!