Miracles

Almost everyone has a time in their life when something unexplained takes place. There are a few schools of thought around this. Some people turn to science. Some people turn to luck. For me, this is where faith fits in. Faith offers answers to the inexpiable. Answers that come with peace, hope and often times joy.

James 1:2   Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.

While many of us have the opportunity to recognize the importance of faith, fewer people have the opportunity to recognize miracles. Some may believe they are things of the past, maybe like Santa. But some of us are blessed to see miracles first hand; and some of us experience them first hand.

Over the last month and a half, I have been covered in prayer by family and friends while I underwent testing. A trip to the OBGYN produced a few more questions than answers and we started to undergo several tests on my cervix and uterus. After lab work, a biopsy and two ultrasounds, most symptoms were contributed to a large mass found on my right ovary: a complex mass of “substance” that didn’t belong there and needed to be removed. A mass that was producing hormones and essentially wreaking havoc on my lady parts and daily routine. So when all other tests were found negative, we moved forward with surgery. My right ovary could no longer be seen and I was prepped to lose it. My consent forms were extensive and each nurse that encountered them would look at the list of possible procedures, then to me and ask, “You’re only 28? Do you understand what this means?” Bernard and I had several difficult but important conversations about whether or not we felt our family was complete. How we would react to each possible procedure that was proposed and most importantly, what the Lord was trying to tell us. Mom and dad drove down to stay with us for a while and help out. Best case scenario was the mass would be removed, sent to pathology and my recovery would be about a week. Worst case scenario was a 4-6 week recovery with an open incision, both ovaries removed, both Fallopian tubes removed and the inability to conceive another child.

The part of the surgery that I was most anxious about was waking up. That would be when I finally knew what had taken place. The doctor would leave the OR and explain to Bernard what was done, what was removed, and what to expect. The day of the surgery we arrived at the hospital and passed time playing words with friends. Bernard made jokes all morning and was a real pro at keeping my mind off of things. My OR was booked for 4 hours and I would have to be in the PACU for at least an hour and a half before I could see B after surgery. I went back at 10:38.

When I woke up, the first thing I did was ask the time. It was 11:38. In the fog of the anesthesia, I wasn’t sure what this meant. I watched the clock and attempted to wet my cotton mouth with ice chips until the clock said 1 and they cleared me to be moved to recovery. When I finally saw Bernard I could hardly stand the waiting. “Well?” I asked. “She didn’t remove anything.” He answered.

Ummmm, what?! Trying to piece together the information that was given to Bernard in all his shock and waiting to hear from the Dr personally over the next two days, I felt confused, frustrated, stupid, and guilty. Why did we go through all of this? Why had I wasted everyone’s time? What do you mean nothing was removed? Why had she left the mass?

When I finally spoke to my doctor and asked why nothing was removed she replied, “Because nothing was there. The mass was gone. And everything was normal. 100% healthy.” 

I've sat here and tried to figure out how to end this. The Dr has offered scientific/medical possibilities, but I have to believe that this is a result of prayer. I felt this mass, I've had cysts rupture for 14 years and I would have known if that was somehow the explanation for this. I have to believe that for whatever reason, the Lord let me go down this path and He chose to take this away.

Take from it what you want, but for me, I am humbled by His love, your prayers, and all the possibilites this means for me and my family.